Thursday, August 17, 2017

He’s dumb as a doorknob.

He’s dumb as a box of rusty utensils, she quipped.
He’s dumb as a pale blue umbrella.

He’s dumb
as old medallions to the thumb,
dumb as a kite. Dumb as a spatula.

He’s dumb as a box of rocks, a box of phlox,
dumb as an ox,
dumb as a box of jocks’ cocks,
dumb as chicken pox.

He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.
He’s not the world’s smartest.
He’s not the brightest bulb on the tree.
He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

He’s about as smart as a stick.
Sharp as a marble, she noted.
Dumber than paint.

He’s just a few cards short of a deck.
He’s a few peas short of a casserole.
A few bricks short of a load!

Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.
Somewhere, a village has been deprived of its idiot.
It takes a village to raise an idiot.

The idiot store called. They want their idiot back.
The idiot store is located in the village.
It’s called The Village Idiot.

• • •

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