Seven Habits of Highly Infective People

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

1. Be infected: Take responsibility for infecting others.

2. Begin with the end in mind: Leave open sores untreated and uncovered.

3. First things first: Spit or sneeze into other people’s mouths.

4. Think win-win: Slice off part of your body and feed it to another person.

5. Seek first to infect, then to be infected: Vomit down someone’s shirt, especially if they’ve recently had chest or abdominal surgery; invite them to vomit down your shirt, too.

6. Synergize! Tear off your face and wipe it (wet side-down) on someone else’s face.

7. Sharpen the saw: Cough without covering your mouth.

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